Keepin’ it Real

In the spirit of honesty I’m here to share some of the ugly truths about motherhood. I introduce you to, The Threenager.

Before I go on and list all the symptoms of The Threenager, please know individual symptoms will vary.

The Threenager is known to include stubbornness, disobedience, out right ignoring, endless repetition, “I want”s, “I can’t”s, “you do mommy/daddy”, and “no”. The Threenager can become serious when disobedience is preceded AND followed by a full body spasm known has The Meltdown. Accompanying a meltdown be prepared for tears, flailing arms and legs, and general fussiness with whining.

Should you encounter any of these symptoms please be mindful of The Threenager’s trifecta: 1) eat – get food into The Threenager as quickly as possible 2) sleep – calm and soothe The Threenager as much as you can and perform an intricate Threenager Sleep Dance which is characterized by copious bathroom breaks, snuggles, books, and glasses of water/milk/juice and 3) outside – in the event 1 and 2 don’t work, get The Threenager outside as soon as possible. The fresh air, vitamin D and change of scenary can’t hurt (disclaimer: going outside is only anatoctal evidence).

Should the the above trifecta fail in your attempts to cure The Threenager, then proceed very cautiously with the following three steps 1) ask your partner to take over bedtime routine (or the task/routine where The Threenager rears itself) 2) open a bottle of wine. Red perferably, but in a pinch white or blush will do (disclaimer: results may very) and 3) pour a large glass of number 2 and drink. Repeat step number 3 as many times as needed to keep calm during a Threenager outbreak.

Individual results may vary. This information is based on a very small participant biased case study of one Threenager. Do not take any of the above information as a replacement for medical advice. Don’t sue either, just drink your wine and hope The Threenager leaves as quickly as it came. Cheers mamas and drink on!


Moms with toddlers, what are your secrets to meltdowns?

Anyone else experiencing The Threenager right now?

Favorite wine?

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2 thoughts on “Keepin’ it Real

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