7 Things Having a Newborn Makes You Do…

1. All.The.Hand.Washing. Never have I ever filled up my bottle of antibacterial soap more than these past 2.5 weeks. Between you and I, sometimes I wash my hands twice. And sometimes I wash my hands then follow up with hand sanitizer. Yes I’m crazy.


I’m going to apologize now for my screen shot memes…I do have a newborn after all.

2. Hand sanitizer. This says it all:


I should just go ahead and purchase stock in Purrell and GermX.

3. Having a 4 year old who attends preschool 3 times a week makes you do crazy things like Lysol-ing the crap out of door knobs, light switches, bathrooms, Legos, toy cars, and well basically everything.

imageLove Sheldon – he speaks to my heart!

4. You repeatedly tell your 4 year old to cover his mouth, wash his hands, don’t touch your brother’s face, cover your face when you sneeze!, get some hand sanitizer!, change your clothes, wash your hands, don’t get so close to your brother’s face! Yeah, it’s bad and I can’t.help.myself.

Poor Brother I is going to grow up with a germ complex but that’s ok because #TherapyFund

5. You use your essential oils obsessively. Now hear me out for a sec – I’ve used these before Baby C arrived, but now it’s gone to Defcon 4 (or 1 – which is worse?!). Every morning I turn on my 3 (yes 3 – don’t judge me! I just can’t help it!) sentsies that heat up and diffuse my oils. Currently, I am diffusing Germ Fighter and Immune Aid.

6. You live with slight paranoia over a stomach bug entering your home. The first sign of diarrhea, upset tummy, or vomitting, I Lock.The.Fing.House.Down. Nothing in or out and I proceed with 1-5 with the addition of bleach. Not that it does much good because did you know the most common stomach viruses are Norovirus and Rotovirus? Well, the pesky Norovirus is resilient to bleach! Bastard! But I use bleach anyways. Toilets, sinks, bathroom floors and I even wash our sheets and towels on hot with bleach. Yes, that does make the bleach off gas into chlorine gas, so don’t open your washer and breathe in the steam. #ChemistryLesson

7. You use your new fangled electronic/digital/self reading thermometer like your life depends on it. Baby feels REALLY WARM…beep beep beep beeeeeeeeep…98.5. Hmmm, normal. 3 seconds later: you still feel REALLY WARM…beep beep beep beep beeeeeeeeep…98.6. Hmmm normal. 3 seconds later: well you get the idea. I tell myself it’s a new toy and the allure will fade, but ya’ll, in full disclosure it hasn’t.


There’s still hope.

At the end of the day keeping this little guy healthy has become a priority.




2 thoughts on “7 Things Having a Newborn Makes You Do…

  1. LOL! I love this – all so true! And I, too, have a four year old in addition to a newborn so I’m right there with you with guiding him toward being germaphobic later in life! haha


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