Insanity Days 8, 9, and 10 and a little update.

Insanity is going ya’ll. This week has been a little tougher for a couple of reasons…

1. I’m getting a little bored. I’m still rotating through the same workout routines and I’m craving some variety. I’m still enjoying them when I get started, but I’m also looking forward to adding in a new routine – cardio abs!

2. I’m feeling tired this week. Maybe it’s the increase in physical activity but I actually took a nap yesterday and that never happens.

3. I’m pretty sure Baby C is going through a growth spurt. He’s eating every 2 hrs during the day and night. This I’m sure reflects #2.

4. Doubt. I’m having a lot of doubt. I don’t look any different – yet. I’m eating well but my diet isn’t perfect (I’m talkin’ about you 9pm PB&J). I’m really trying not to weigh myself but I did. And I’m up 2 lbs. Maybe it’s muscle, maybe it’s water weight, maybe it’s my body’s normal fluctuations – I dunno. Either way, the doubt is effecting my mental game.

5. My knees hurt. I really noticed it today while doing jumping jacks during the warm up. So I skipped these and did some stretching and then joined Shaun T for the rest of the routine. Once I got warmed up and did some stretching, my knees felt fine. Tomorrow I’m going to wear a more cushioned running shoe and see if that helps.

6. My lower back hurts. I’m 99% sure this is because my abs are weak and I’m using my back to compensate. Today I really focused on my core and stretched out my lower back. I’m hoping this eases off as my core gets stronger.

Now let’s talk about the good things…

1. I am getting stronger! I notice slight improvements. I can go further in a routine before stopping, I can do more reps, or I can keep up with Shaun T. All good signs!

2. I’m still sore but not debilitatingly so. I have a general underlying level of soreness. But every morning I wake up and it’s localized in a different area. I take this to mean the different DVDs and routines are working various muscle groups!

3. I’m being consistent with strength training for once. Even if I don’t get the post-pregnancy tummy tight or the chiseled abs, I do know all this hard work will benefit my running big time!

And now a quick little update…

Brother I started soccer and he’s loving it. He’s still going to school (preschool/daycare) as well which gives him a full schedule. He’s adjusted so well to being a big brother and loves Baby C! Evidently he talks about his baby brother a lot at school according to his teachers!

Brother I has also started to join me while I do my “exercises”(Insanity). From what I can see, his favorites are sucides, heismens, and the yoga stretching! He’s a lot of fun to have around while I’m working my butt off and provides a bit of comic relief.

Baby C’s reflux is a challenge. On one hand I think the meds are helping with the pain, but on the other hand, it’s not stopping the reflux. He’s had a lot more spit up (which the meds don’t prevent), and congestion which makes it hard for him to sleep, nurse, and generally be comfortable. We’re still doing breathing treatments at least twice a day if not 3 times. Fortunately he’s gaining weight well, and is still much happier compared to when he was originally diagnosed.

I’m also starting to lay Baby C down for his long naps in his crib and it’s been really successful! He naps in there for about an hour with a white noise app playing on my phone. He also is starting to enjoy toys and loves playing on his piano mat.

FirefighterDad is taking an EMT course now which means he’s very busy and only is getting one true day off out of his “48 off”. Fortunately he’s at the closest station to our house (a mile down the road!) so the boys and I stop in for visits as we can.

I’m not sure why but I have been feeling like I’m in survival mode right now.  It’s not bad by any means, but I feel like I get my head above water, then something falls behind like laundry, dishes, or general house stuff. And some days I give myself grace and let it all go, but I have to say after a couple days of it I can’t stand it and spend a whole week playing catch up. I know in just a few short weeks, life will be different as Baby C grows and sleeps a bit more at night, so I’m just surviving this time and taking it a day at time. I’m focusing on soaking up baby snuggles, sweet moments with Brother I, and easing myself into this whole SAHM gig.

How has your week been?

Any special Labor Day plans?


Insanity Week 1 Eats

Ya’ll, this is by far the hardest part of the 60 day Insanity program – nutrition.

What the heck am I suppose to eat?!

How much am I suppose to eat?!

I’m breastfeeding so how many calories do I need?!

How many grams of protein should I eat in a day?!

Carbs? Are they good, bad, somewhere in between?

So yeah, I’m still trying to figure this out. And I even read the Insanity Nutrition Plan. It has a lot of information and lots of meal ideas and I’m definitely using it, but I’m still second guessing my food choices.

I clearly need a personal dietician AND chef because this past week I didn’t get around to eating breakfast until 11 am or later!

Yeah, not good.

And most days, that meal ended up being breakfast AND lunch.

I know….this is bad, but with a newborn it’s life.

The other thing that’s kinda tricky is I can’t rely on a scale and certain goal weight to dictate if my calorie consumption is appropriate because Insanity is cardio AND strength training.

Which means I’m going to gain muscle and burn fat.

And one thing I do know, muscle weighs more than fat.

Hence why measurements are so important.

But the part that’s confusing: when should I see my measurements improving?

The answer: it depends.

On what you might ask…

How hard I work out and what I eat.

*hand hits forehead*

So, maybe now you understand my dilemma.

What the hell do I eat and how much?

So to make sense of all of this and to simplify the nutrition aspect, here is what I’m trying:

Breakfast will either be eggs, breakfast burrito, cottage cheese and fruit, Greek yogurt with granola, or oatmeal.

Snack will either be a protein shake, cottage cheese, hard boiled egg, or Greek yogurt.

Lunch will be a salad with either chicken, tuna, or salmon with all the veggies and some fruit.

Snack will be a protein shake, a PB&J, rice cakes with PB, almonds, yogurt, or fruit. This snack will probably depend upon my level of breastfeeding hunger. Lately, I’ve been having a PB&J because I am so hungry.

Dinner will be a protein (salmon, chicken, beef) with veggies and another side such as salad, quinoa, or potatoes.

Before bed treat will probably be fruit, protein shake, yogurt, or a glass of wine 1-2 days/week only.

With all of these meals and snacks, my goal is to limit my sugar intake (candy, cookies, ice cream, etc) and make better food choices like a piece of fruit over cookies.

I’m guessing right now my calories are somewhere around 1600-2000. I know it’s a wide range but with Baby C, some days I just don’t get around to eating a meal and rely on quick snacks, and other days I can sit down and eat decent meals.

This week I did fairly good on my above “nutrition plan”. I had eggs with a Greek yogurt most days, followed by some kind of snack, followed by another snack, then maybe another because I never did get a solid lunch in since I ate breakfast so late. Then I had dinner which varied from sandwiches to a protein shake.

I did have some cheats though in the form of wine and chocolate chips. I did however, significantly limit my sugar by not giving in to every craving like I was before. So it’s a small step of improvement.

To make next week even easier to stay on plan, I did some food prep today while Baby C napped (in his crib! More on this later!).

I cooked quinoa with sautéed cabbage, onion, spinach, and green pepper in it. This will make for an easy salad addition or a side with my meals.

I also chopped up cabbage, spinach, and green pepper and stored it together as a salad “base” that I can add to each day.

I had a fresh pineapple I cut up as well for a quick snack option that beats my usual granola bars and other processed and high sugar foods.

I then cut up the cucumbers that desperately need to be eaten so I can either munch on, add into a salad, or have as a side.

With part of the cucumber I decided to make a quick cucumber pineapple salsa to go with our salmon we’re having for my birthday dinner tonight. Yummy!

I’m hoping next week I can make more improvements and have less doubt about my food choices.

What is your food philosophy? Clean eating? Paleo? THM? Eat whatever you want? Whole foods only? Low carb?

Anyone else have a birthday in August? Today I’m 29…my last year in my 20s.

Insanity Day 6

Today was the same Plyometric Cardio Circuit as day 2 and consisted of 30 second intervals.

I still really enjoyed the sports drills (basketball jumps, and football drills).

The ab workouts on this DVD are killer too and the ski abs are my favorite.

I also totally forgot about the kickboxing (?) routines, but these are really fun and something I’ve never done before. And it’s a great ab workout to boot!

After having done this workout once before, I would say I have made some improvement. I needed fewer breaks, was able to do some moves faster, and dug deeper. It was still a tough workout to keep up with, but I’m thrilled that after only 6 days I’m noticing some improvement.

Physically, I don’t see much difference in my body and I wasn’t really expecting to. I’m being more conscience with my food choices, but I’m still wondering if I’m eating properly to get the results I want. I guess time will tell.

Overall, I’d say this workout was tough – maybe a smidge easier than Pure Cardio because we get 30 second breaks, but it seemed tougher than the first time I did it. Which tells me I still dug deep and brought  it and that my body is adapting, getting stronger, but also still getting in a killer workout!

Tomorrow is a complete rest day which is perfect timing for my birthday!

Next week has some different workouts which I’m really excited to try!

6 down, 54 to go!

Insanity Day 5: Pure Cardio

Oh Shaun T how you hurt me.

Small glimpses of your abs while you’re kicking my butt with your sucides, power squats, and other butt-kicking routines is not cool…m’kay?

I really appreciated when you finally took your shirt off for good though.

And when you said you were getting tired and took a break! Thanks for keeping it real Shaun T.

And at the end of the workout when you said “this shit is bananas”….yeah I loved that too.

We can be best friends now.

Pure Cardio…I think this was the toughest workout yet because it had limited breaks (maybe just two water breaks), was fast paced, and had all the strength.

But I still enjoyed it and the time flew by!

I’m still really not liking the stretching routine but I do attempt some of the moves and then stretch on my own and go back into some of the video routines. Eh, it will work and at least I’m doing a warm up and cool down. I hear those are kind of important.

All in all, this shit was bananas!

A couple things to note:

1. By day 3 I noticed my muscle soreness was actually easing off! I was pleasantly surprised by this. I’m definitely still sore and some moves are harder to do because of it, but it’s way less than I thought it would be and I can function just fine.

2. The cardio part I think is harder for me then the strength part. Don’t get me wrong, the strength is kicking my butt and I’m doing moves I’ve never done before, but the fast paced nature of Insanity is tough. I will say I love getting strength and cardio in one workout though!

One more day, then a well deserved rest day!



Insanity Day 2, 3, & 4

You guys, I have to say I’m REALLY enjoying Insanity!

It’s tough and it’s kicking my butt and I am so sore, but it’s actually really fun.

Here’s a quick run down of the past three days…

Day 2 was a Plyometric Cardio day. It was about 35 minutes including the warm up and cool down. I was pretty sore starting this workout but to my suprise after the warm up I actually felt better. Still sore, but I could at least move!

This day was broken up into 30 second intervals and included the warm up moves along with some fun sports related moves like vertical basketball jumps, and suicides. Overall, the variety of moves kept this day entertaining even if it did kick my ass.

Oh, plus Shaun T wasn’t wearing a shirt!

If he’s going to kick my ass I should at least be able to stare at his abs!

Day 3 was a Cardio Resistance day. I’m not sure how this differed from day 2 except the movies were different. We did 123’s which I finally nailed down, ski jumps which I really liked, and other complicated moves for the uncoordinated like me, but overall I enjoyed this day too!

I will say after this day, the one big negative to Insanity for me is the stretching during the cool down. It’s very yoga focused – which I like -but not after I just busted my ass with cardio and strength work. So for right now I’m doing my own stretching and attempting some of Shaun T’s moves. I figure it’s better to stretch the way I need too to avoid injury then attempting the yoga stretches.

Today, Day 4 was Cardio Recovery. It was shorter in length but also much slower paced. Even though it was recovery on the cardio, it was by no means a recovery of the strength work. Some of Shaun T’s moves are just really neat and I suprised myself and was able to do them! This day was a lot of leg and core work with Shaun’s typical yoga style stretching.

What I Like

It’s 60 days. This might be silly but P90x seems daunting because it’s 90 days! That’s 3 months ya’ll!! I don’t know why, but 60 days seems very doable.

Video time includes warm up and cool down. I tend to skip these on my own, so I’m really glad these are built in every day.

Time bar counts down the work out, and flashes reminders like “Go your own pace”, “Don’t sacrifice form”, “water break”, etc.

Lots of variety in the moves. Strength training was always boring to me because it was the standard push ups, crunches, planks, etc. Insanity has these in the videos but they are all different variations of the original. Also every day has different moves – I’m not getting bored that’s for sure!

The exercises work multiple muscles at the same time. I love this. It adds to the complexity of the moves, but also maximizes the workout time.

Shaun T talks the whole time during the routines explaining moves, proper form, giving pep talks and encouragement, and signaling for water breaks. I really like this and find the amount of talking he does is perfect – not too little, not too much, and not annoying at all.

And one of the best things, is I can do this right in my living room with no “tools” like weights, a mat, etc. It allows for flexibility with Baby C and my schedule.

What I don’t Like

The stretching. Shaun T uses a lot of yoga – which I love yoga – but 1. I’m not strong enough for the yoga stuff yet, and 2. I don’t feel the stretch. So I’m kinda on my own for this right now. I hope as I continue through the program the yoga/stretching will be beneficial.

Sometimes Shaun T wears a shirt. And sometimes he takes it off…and sometimes he doesn’t.

As you can see there isn’t much that I don’t like about Insanity. I highly reccomend it and am looking forward to Day 5 – Pure Cardio.


Have you done any of the Beachbody programs (P90x, Insanity, etc)?

Insanity Day 1: Fit Test and Giveaway Winner!!

You know it’s going to be bad when the warm up is hard.

I was out of breath and sweating.

Is that normal for the warm up?

Anyways, I hopped onto the Struggle Bus this morning while Baby C was napping and started the 60 day Insanity program.

And Shaun T can kiss my white flabby ass.

Just kidding. 

Kind of.

Because Globe Jumps?! Really?!

I’m barely coordinated enough to do a jumping jack, let alone a jumping squat jack with a step back and a squat and then doing this in a circle…ya know, the globe part.

So I basically did squat jumps in a circle.

Also, push up jacks?! Really Shaun?! Really?!!

I can barely do one regular push up and you toss in a jack?

I attempted this knowing I wasn’t getting my body down low enough, but I gotta start somewhere right?

Other than those two exercises I did actually enjoy the fit test.

Don’t get me wrong…it was hard and I’m going to be sore for dayzzzzz.

But it was somewhat entertaining and it wasn’t the same old run of the mill push ups, crunches, and jumping jacks.

Now, lets talk about running.

It’s my first love. It’s always been there for me.

I’m not breaking up with running, I’m just having to take a temporary step back from it right now.

This season of life is busy with FirefighterDad’s work schedule plus EMT class, Brother I’s soccer practices and games, and not to mention Baby C wanting to be held, snuggled, and eat every 2-3 hrs. I know it will be hard to commit to a training plan of running 5 days a week and it will lead to disappointment on my end.

So I’m sad to say “not right now” to running and just fit them in when I can (I’m hoping for 3 runs a week – an easy run, a speed day, and a long run) and focus soley on some strength work. And even though I’m sad I’m not fully committing to running right now, I’m excited about Insnaity. I  REALLY want to give it a shot. I have seen the results and they are amazing. And the crazy thing about strength work….it will make me a better, stronger, and faster runner. So there’s that.

I will be posting my progress on here with some before and after pictures and measurements for those interested!

And since nutrition is so vital to a program like Insanity, I will be sharing my eats with you guys too, along with my thoughts on eating and exercise while breastfeeding.


And now for the giveaway winner!

There were 6 entries from 5 people. I put all entries on pieces of paper, tossed them into a bowl, and let Brother I pick one out. It’s not a fancy system, but it was all on the up and up. Promise!

And the winner…


Please email me your info so I can get your goodies in the mail to you!

We are a family of 4.

Baby C is our last child.

We took permanent measures to ensure this.

My uterus will never support a growing life again.

My cycle will return (please not any time soon!) and it will be a reminder that I am fertile, but not growing a life.

And I’m happy about all of the above.

And sad.

And content.


Yeah, me too.

The best way to put it – it’s bittersweet.

I’m content though.

I’m at peace with our decision.

And I 100% stand by our decision to keep our family as a family of 4.

But I’m also savoring every single moment with Baby C right now, knowing I will never hold another baby that FirefighterDad and I created together.

It’s a mix of emotions.

It’s complicated.

It’s messy.

But it’s right for us.


Persepctive. It’s a crazy thing. It can instantly make you see clearly. It can make you change your mind, or reaffirm your decision.

And as I laid in my hospital bed at 23 weeks and 5 days and 2 cm dialated, I got all the perspective I needed.

My body doesn’t do pregnancy.

My baby was measuring 1lb 8oz….a weight the neonatalogist was ecstatic about.

It moved our odds a bit closer to 50%.

Odds that aren’t terrible.

People make bets on 50% odds.

50% odds are good odds.

Unless thoughs odds mean the difference between life and death.

Now 50% is a terrible percentage.

These were our odds with Baby C.

He could live, or he could die.

And we prepared for both outcomes.

We talked about an extended NICU stay with life sustaining measures.

And we talked about comfort care. Keeping our baby comfortable until he was called Home.

Two very different conversations, but when you have barely 50% odds, you have both conversations.

And in those moments I knew he would be our last baby.

Regardless of the outcome, he would be our last.

In those moments I tried to remove myself emotionally from the life I was carrying. I actually, at one point, convinced myself I didn’t love this child. I mean how could I? I never met him, saw him, or held him. I didn’t know him, so if the coin landed on death, I would be fine.

Then a split second later, I would cry.

Whole body shaking sobs.

Because I knew better than that. My heart was already so in love with the life I was carrying. And I knew if the odds weren’t in our favor, it would be the worst pain I had ever felt in my life.

So as nurses and doctors worked to stop my labor and keep Baby C cooking, I cried and I prayed.

And I knew I would do whatever it took to never get pregnant again.

Because when it comes to your child, no one wants 50% odds.

When it comes to your child’s viability, 50% odds are terrible.

Fortunately, our story has a happy ending.

With both of our boys.

With Brother I, I got 28 more days of pregnancy and delivered at 33 weeks and 5 days to a 5lb 8oz baby.

We weathered two NICU stays, but we have a healthy, happy, and vibrant 4 year old.

And with Baby C I got 12 more weeks of pregnancy and delivered at 35 weeks and 4 days to a 6lb 10oz baby.

We are weathering reflux, but we have a healthy, happy, and vibrant 2 month old.


Our story could have been different so easily.

So I’m content.

I’m at peace.

Perspective is a gift I will always be grateful for.

So every day I savor.

I savor the snuggles, baby wearing, newborn floppies, sweet baby milk breath, baths, nursing, smiles, coos, and even the ache I feel when I hear the distinct sound of my newborn cry.

I savor the soft newborn hair, the smooth baby skin against mine, the diaper changes, the spit up, and the sleepless nights.

I savor the vulnerable newborn period – the time I feel the most like a mother. Able to provide food, comfort, and love in the most raw and uninhibited way possible.

I savor the moments, good and bad, committing them to memory.

Beacuse our family is complete.

We are a family of 4.

A family of 4 with a happy ending.


Hello Soccer Season

Tomorrow kicks off our city’s soccer season with a 6:45pm practice for Brother I. It looks like he’ll have 2-3 practices a week, alternating between 5:45 and 6:45.

To make these evenings run a little smoother,  and to prevent hanger, I made some PB&J sandwiches and PB and honey (ran out of jelly) sandwiches and stashed them in the freezer along with a few cheese quesadillas. My plan is to use these for quick dinners before practice. Since we usually eat dinner at 6pm, I know there is no way Brother I is going to last that long without a half way decent meal. So dinner on the go it is!

I’m also planning on making pizza quesadillas, muffins, granola, and breakfast burritos for the freezer. This will give us a good variety of on the go dinners.

Once we get home and get baths done, I anticipate Brother I needing a snack before bed so I’m going to be sure to have fresh produce, yogurt and the like on hand. And if all else fails, there’s cereal – my quick go to when 4 year old hunger strikes!

I’m also hoping to use practice time as some built in running time for me…eventually. With every new routine it takes some time to get settled, but I think it would be an easy way to get a 20-30 minute easy run in. As of right now, I have one race every month for the rest of the year. None of these will be raced for a PR, but I still want to put in some work with training.


In other news, Baby C is proving to be quite the momma’s boy. Baby’s his age can’t be spoiled by being held (I firmly believe this), however he clearly prefers to be held rather than sit in his bouncy chair or on the floor. I find this preference most challenging when he’s asleep. He’s not able to soothe himself to sleep just yet so I’ll either nurse him to sleep or use a pacifier and pat his butt (#BabyMagic) and he’s out.

After holding him for 20-30 minutes to give him time to get into a deep sleep, I’ll lay Baby C down. Within minutes he stirs and wakes up….every.single.time.

So here in lies my challenge. Although I LOVE the snuggles, there are times I’d like to be a little productive.

You know, like peeing.

Or brushing my teeth.

I know he’ll eventually learn how to get comfy and stay asleep, and even self soothe, I just wonder if I should be doing things differently. And if I were to correct his age by 4-5 weeks (I had Baby C at 35 weeks 4 days) he’d be about a month old right now…and month old babies need to be held. They need that comfort.

So patience is the name of the game right now. And since Baby C is our last (MANY thoughts on this; blog post maybe?) I’m focusing on enjoying every snuggle, every moment with his weight in my arms because I know, too quickly this will pass.

Don’t forget to enter my first ever giveaway today by 11:59 pm EST here!

Like AND comment to earn TWO entries!

Mom’s/Dad’s, were/are your kid(s) good sleepers?

Any quick on the go receipes?

Any soccer players?

Baby C’s First Run!

I suppose technically Baby C’s first run was shortly after I conceived. And then shortly after that, I ran a half marathon 5 weeks pregnant and I had a blast! It was my little secret (FirefighterDad knew of course); just me and my newly created child running for the pure joy of running.

In fact, that was my first ever race where I forgot my race bib. And I didn’t care. I didn’t stress. I simply ran for fun, for peace, for joy. I ran with my child.


During that race I thought a lot about my baby.

Would we have another boy? A girl?

What color eyes would he/she have?

What would their smile look like?

Thoughts like this kept me entertained and content during those 13.1 miles and even though that race wasn’t a PR, I have very find memories of it. It’s definitely one of my favorites.


Along with today’s run.

It was short and hot but I had a blast and the best company!

Today was Baby C’a first stroller run! And being able to see him, watch him, and talk to him was so awesome. It made me think about that race many months ago and feel so grateful, so happy, and so full to know who that child was at only 5 weeks.

I ran one loop around our neighborhood keeping it nice and relaxed and Baby C LOVED it! He was wide awake looking around and taking it all in. Towards the end, he closed his eyes and was getting tired and if it weren’t for being so hot and humid this morning, I would have gone a bit farther to help lull him to sleep.

Next time!

Here’s a quick break down:

1.31 miles

16:38 minutes

I ran the whole first mile which is improvement from my first two runs

And it is WAY easier pushing an 11 pound baby versus a 37 pound child.

I’m looking forward to many more runs with Baby C..he’s a great running partner!


Don’t forget to enter my first ever giveaway by August 21st here!

Solo runs or stroller runs?

Ever “race” pregnant?

Weekend plans?

August 14th: 2 Months + Beach

My last update for the week…Sunday.

Baby C is officially 2 months old. To celebrate we went to the beach and it was also my niece’s first trip to the beach!

The older kiddos had a blast building sand castles and splashing in the waves and Baby C slept the majority of the time but did get to feel the warm ocean water.

Baby C’s 2 month appointment was the following day and his stats…

Weight: 11 lbs 9 oz

Length: 22.25 inches

Head: 15 inches

He’s wearing 3 months and 3-6month clothes, is wearing size 1 diapers, and is definitely chunking up!

Baby C is nursing about 12 times a day with 3 during the night. He’s rolling from tummy to back and is just full of smiles and coos.

We’re continuing with meds and breathing treatments to control his reflux, but his weight gain has been awesome and I’m thrilled breastfeeding is going well.

Baby C’s Likes:


Diaper Changes


Being held/Moby Wrap/Ergo

Tummy Time

Breathing treatments


Baby C’s Dislikes:

Being hungry

Dirty diapers


Not being held




And now my sister is back home, Brother I will be going back to school this week, and I will be getting back into our normal routine.

Has school started where you live?

Have any craziness the past week or so?