I Almost Became A Squirrel Murder Today

I almost became a squirrel murderer today.

Almost. Which is good because I just can’t handle having “squirrel murderer” on my conscience right now.

I dunno if these two squirrels were fighting over nuts, territory, or maybe one was a boy squirrel who is really into big bushy tails. Either way, I swerved and they ran back into a neighbor’s yard.

Disaster averted.

I also drove around my neighborhood like a crazed lunatic because Baby C fell asleep in the car. I know there are probably a million moms out there that have done this, but this was after I stopped at a cafe to grab a coffee and sat in their parking lot for 20 minutes thinking Baby C would wake up any minute.

The minutes passed, and the baby snored.

I can only imagine how pissed those small business owners were looking out their window and seeing me wasting time on my phone. If only they knew the struggle of a sleeping baby in the car.

So this post is random. Did I mention that already? *scrolls up*

Ah, nope I didn’t. Okay, so this post is going to be random – consider yourself warned. My mind is a jumbled mess between parenting, SAHMing, and flat out adulting. I’m convinced now there’s really an aliment called “SAHM Crazies”. And ya’ll I’m sufferin’ something fierce.

I want to be creative. Think, plan, solve….I don’t even know what I want. I do know I have got to get out of this house some more. And I do know I am not ready to face corporate world yet. But ya’ll oh how I miss managing projects. All the moving pieces – making order out of chaos.

Now if only I can make order out of the chaos that is my (recently turned) 5 year old. Seriously, being a mom is the hardest job I have ever had.

Okay, I’m getting a little off track here (see the crazies I tell ya!). So being creative, that I can do with this here blog. Oh, but what a can of worms this blog is.

See, I had a niche to write about. A corporate mom who had it all! I worked full time, raised kids, and LOVED it. And now the struggle bus has picked me up and plopped me in a big ol’ heapin’ pile of multiple identities. And now I don’t know what this blog is anymore. What do I write about? How can I inspire other working moms, and SAHM moms, and just MOMS?

You know the women in yoga pants, with unwashed hair, and the crazed look in their eyes? Ha…kidding.

Sorta.

So, here I am pretty much avoiding this little space of the internet because I dunno where to go with it. One day I’m on the right side of the proverbial fence and I’m all “Yes! Lets do this! I can write about whatever the heck I wanna write about!” And the other days, I’m on the left side of the fence, in the fetal position rocking back and forth, saying “Make it go away. Make it go away!”

And that’s where you come in.

What do you want me to write about?

What do you want to read? What do you like about this blog?

Also, why your at it, when you’re done fixing my “blog content direction” problem, will you also let me know what I should call this blog? M’kay thanks.

I’m a once-was pant suit wearing working mom, I’m a now-wearing yoga pants SAHM. I’m a boy mom, a firewife, a runner, a chemist, a project manager. I’m a sister, daughter, friend. I’m an introvert living in an extroverts world. I’m a sarcastic coffee lover and wine drinker. I’m an essential oil user, naturalist, and fitness enthusiast. I’m a neighbor, I’m a homeowner, I’m a down to earth southerner. I’m me. A hot mess me.

Just plain ol’ me. 


  1. What content would you like to see here?
  2. Help a gal out… if you were to rename this blog, what would it be?
  3. Answer questions 1 and 2 in the comments!
  4. 4. Seriously, please answer questions 1 and 2.
  5. Okay, ya’ll for real now, I expect a lot of comments with your ideas!

 

 

 

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Let’s Catch Up

Hi.

Okay before you get all where the hell have you been PantsuitsMom, let me just say I know.

And I’m sorry.

Life has been crazy and I just needed to take a step back so I could keep my head above water.

So I’m gonna update you, but I’m warning…this might get long so grab a cup of coffee, or wine – no judgement here, and I’ll get started.

1. Took a trip to Florida in mid September so my folks could meet Baby C. Baby C cried the entire 10 hour drive turned 13 hour drive. Seriously. It was awful and I don’t want to talk about. The visit itself was great and Baby C is my parents’ 5th grandbaby.

2. While in Florida I ran my first race post Baby. A local 5k and I had a blast. It hurt like hell but my mom came out and stayed with the boys and it was awesome – my mom has always been my biggest running cheerleader.

3. When I got home I started to get back into our normal routine. School drop offs and pick ups, laundry, dishes etc. Then on Tuesday I walked back into the house and had a flood. My laundry room had about 3 inches of standing water!! WTF?!

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Might be hard to see but I promise you…water. Lots and lots of water.

4. Then Wednesday came along and Hurricane Matthew was practically knocking on my front door. So in the end I packed up my car, both kids and all 3 dogs and stayed with my aunt and uncle. A good time was had by all.

5. Mid October then brings us to Baby C’s 4 month update. Smiling, cooing, sleeping through the night (even a few nights of 8hrs!), loving baths, being held and hating his car seat! Still batteling reflux but this chunkster clocked in at 17lbs 2oz!

6. 33rd birthday for FirefighterDad! He had to work so Brother I helped me bake a cake and decorate it which we took to the fire station!

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7. Apples, apples, apples. When I returned from my quick hurricane evacuation my house was exploding with bananas, apples, and oranges. I froze most of the bananas, the oranges are going in beer (don’t judge) and the apples became two pies for Thanksgiving!

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8. Shortly after this, Mable got out of the backyard and was gone for 4 days!! I was a wreck. A hot mess. I searched, I drove, I put up flyers, I cried, I prayed. Finally the animal society where I had filed a lost animal report had her!! I got her that morning and that night she chewed a hole in our privacy fence and took off down the street. I shit you not. Thank goodness I noticed and was able to get her but it’s become very clear that she’s not happy in our home, so we are fostering her and looking for a forever home for her. During this time we also got our leaking water heater replaced and the pump on our washing machine fixed.

9. The end of October was obviously Halloween. We had a baby Dalmatian and a Ninja turtle! A great time we all had!

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10. Early November was a blur of catching up on laundry and yet again getting back into normal post-loosing Mable and realizing she needs a new home.

11. Election Day. 2 hours. Vote cast. ‘Nuff said.

12. Blurr of shift days, OT, EMT class, ride alongs, wine, beer, lemon drops. Life.

13. Yesterday I ran my second race post Baby!! A half marathon! My slowest half ever but I had a blast! I quickly found a group of ladies to run/walk it with and I had a great time! Time flew by until about mile 9.5 then I was doing everything I could to keep the cramping at bay. It was tough. But it was glorious. And best part, all 3 of my boys were at the finish line cheering me on!

14. Today was suppose to be family pics that got rained out. The sweet photographer is willing to reimburse me so besides a little annoyance we made the best of it by snapping some selfies. Lemons into lemonade I tell ya!

15. And finally, tomorrow Baby C will be 5 months. I just can’t even…

Ya’ll that’s all I have for you.

P.S. At some point the guest blog post from my sis will go up (bless her heart I have nagged and nagged and nagged and I still haven’t posted it two months later. Oops).

P.P.S. Oh yeah, I quit Insanity. I missed running so I focused on that, and well, the above 15 are my excuses.

P.P.P.S During all this time I did win my first ever blog giveaway so there’s that!! Thanks Living Lighter in Atlanta!

Until next time ya’ll!

3 Months

On Wednesday September 14th Baby C turned 3 months old.

Ya’ll it’s all going by so fast!!

He’s already wearing size 6 months clothes! Is this normal? I remember Brother I being in newborn clothes forever, then 3 months forever, then 6 months FOREVER.

Baby C on the other hand is jumping sizes faster than I can keep up!

He’s in size 2 diapers and recently has gone from sleeping 5 hours at night to 7.5 hours! I’m so grateful for a longer stretch of sleep even if I do have to pump to be comfortable.

Baby C is such a happy baby! This past month he’s really blossomed with his smiles, coos, squeals, and “talking”. I absolutely love mornings with him. As I sit and drink my coffee, Baby C and I catch up and he’s ALL smiles. #meltmyheart #mommasboy

Baby C is also on a really good routine and I find it predictable which is awesome! He’s always been very obvious when he’s tired because his eyelids and area around his eyebrows get red, but now knowing his general nap times is awesome and allows for easier out of the house adventures.

Another knew development is that Baby C has put himself to sleep many times this past month. It first started in the car – I think the movement and noise lulled him to sleep. Sometimes he still cried and needed his pacifier, but for the most part falling asleep in the car is super easy for him to do now! He’s also fallen asleep by himself in his bed (in my room) after a middle of the night feeding. Occasionally I have to lean over and pat his back (he still sleeps on his tummy) but he eventually drifts off to sleep.

Speaking of tummy, Baby C sleeps really well this way but he’s not a fan of tummy tie anymore or playing on his back. I don’t know if this is because of his reflux or if it’s because he just enjoys standing up and looking at mommy, daddy, and brother. Either way he hasn’t done much rolling over from tummy to back recently. And he’s really strong and loves to stand on his legs as we hold him. Maybe he’ll be an early walker like his big brother!

Right now at 3 months Baby C weighed 15lbs 5oz and measured 23.5 inches long. He’s getting so big and has thighs for dayzzzz!

He’s wearing 6 month clothes and size 2 diapers.

Baby C’s Likes:

Eating

Smiling at mommy, daddy, and brother,

Baths

Being carried in the Ergo

Being outside

His piano mat briefly

Being toasty warm when sleeping

Pacifer

 

Baby C’s Dislikes:

Being hungry

Being tired

Having a dirty diaper

Medicine

Playing on the floor/not being held

 

Baby C is such a joy and I feel so blessed to have this little boy to complete our family!

 

 

 

Oh man, I have a blog?!

I know, I know, I know.

You all missed me and wonder what happened to me.

Maybe I was swept away by Hermine or maybe I just forgot that I had a blog.

In any case, I’m here and I didn’t get swept away or forget…I just got flat out busy with life.

1. We had a dear friend visit us over Labor Day weekend and it was wonderful but it also kinda threw off my routine. So after her visit, I spent the next couple of days tracking Baby C’s routine. It seemed like he was all over the place and he was waking up every 1.5-2hrs at night. And I was tired. And irritable. And hormonal. And I desperately wanted to fix his routine. I quickly realized that there was actually nothing to fix. He’s sleeping, then eating, then playing. It just wasn’t what I wanted. But when does a baby do what we want, ya know? So I let go of my fix-it nature and a beautiful thing happened. Baby C showed me his routine. And ya’ll, my frustration quickly subsided and instead of stressing, I was once again enjoying my sweet baby. My last baby. And just like that Baby C slept for 4 hours the first night, then 5 hours, then last night he slept for 5 hours and 40 mins.

2. I have officially eliminated dairy from my diet. Baby C’s reflux is still a daily presence. I think it’s being managed, but it’s not gone. He refluxes, spits up, chokes, and coughs multiple times a day. Fortunately, he doesn’t seem to be in pain, so I think the meds are working but the spit up has gotten out of control. It’s like water works central over here – except you know, it’s breastmilk. I’m going to try dairy free for a few weeks and see if there is improvement. If not, or Baby C gets worse, it’s back to the pediatrician we go.

3. Postpartum hair loss is in full force ya’ll! Like holy moly, I don’t know how I’m not bald at this point. It’s so bad that I dread washing my hair, brushing my hair, or pretty much doing anything with it.

4. Insanity is still going. I did the second fit test and saw improvement on all 8 exercises. Then I took 3 days off. I know. But my knees hurt, I was tired (see #1), my lower back hurt, and ya’ll I’m 29 now so I’m no spring chicken. Excuses, excuses. I think part of my lack of interest is that II’m missing running and I’m bored with Insanity. I’m ready to try other routines, but once I get started with a DVD, I do enjoy it. So starting tomorrow it’s back to Insanity full force!

5. Brother I had his first soccer game and it was a mix of smiles, running, falling down, tears, being tired, and being Hangry. But he pulled through and his team, along with him, did great!

6. I went to the chiropractor. Oh how I missed this! It’s amazing how much better my body feels after an adjustment. With breastfeeding and sleeping, my neck was all jacked up so I’ll be going back this week to follow up on it. I think Baby C will get adjusted too; I’m hoping this will help with his reflux some.

7. I’ll be making a trip back home (Florida) with both boys and all 3 dogs soon. I’m mentally running through the logistics and my game plan, but wish me luck now. I’m hoping all the luck will build up and accumulate so I’ll be good to go!

8. I have a very special guest post from my sister that I will be posting very soon – so stayed tuned. She’s basically the awesome-est person ever and an incredible sister and mom. You don’t want to miss it- trust me!

9. That’s all for now folks!

10. Fill me in on your happenings!

Living With Boys Moment #1

I started these waaaayyy back when Brother I was just a teeny tiny baby right out of the NICU. I would send them via text to my mom and sister as a way to share a part of our life but also for a good laugh.

Sometimes it would be me recapturing a moment – like when both Baby and Daddy farted….then they both laughed about it. #Yesthatreallyhappened

Or sometimes I’d share a picture like Daddy in his underwear holding Baby in his diaper. #seriouslyyoucantmakethisstuffup

But through the years I never wrote these down in a journal or documented them in anyway as a fun keepsake. #memories #sentimental

So now that Baby C is here and we have expanded the testosterone in our family, I thought it would be fun to bring back my Living With Boys Moments and document them here on this ol’ blog of mine.

Although this isn’t technically our first moment, it’s the first of many I will be sharing!

 

August 31, 2016 LWBM #1

In Brother I’s bath tonight I noticed some strange floaties in the water so I asked him what they were. “Oh, those are just from my farts.”

 

Good to know…and I’m sorry I asked.

We are a family of 4.

Baby C is our last child.

We took permanent measures to ensure this.

My uterus will never support a growing life again.

My cycle will return (please not any time soon!) and it will be a reminder that I am fertile, but not growing a life.

And I’m happy about all of the above.

And sad.

And content.

Confused?

Yeah, me too.

The best way to put it – it’s bittersweet.

I’m content though.

I’m at peace with our decision.

And I 100% stand by our decision to keep our family as a family of 4.

But I’m also savoring every single moment with Baby C right now, knowing I will never hold another baby that FirefighterDad and I created together.

It’s a mix of emotions.

It’s complicated.

It’s messy.

But it’s right for us.

 

Persepctive. It’s a crazy thing. It can instantly make you see clearly. It can make you change your mind, or reaffirm your decision.

And as I laid in my hospital bed at 23 weeks and 5 days and 2 cm dialated, I got all the perspective I needed.

My body doesn’t do pregnancy.

My baby was measuring 1lb 8oz….a weight the neonatalogist was ecstatic about.

It moved our odds a bit closer to 50%.

Odds that aren’t terrible.

People make bets on 50% odds.

50% odds are good odds.

Unless thoughs odds mean the difference between life and death.

Now 50% is a terrible percentage.

These were our odds with Baby C.

He could live, or he could die.

And we prepared for both outcomes.

We talked about an extended NICU stay with life sustaining measures.

And we talked about comfort care. Keeping our baby comfortable until he was called Home.

Two very different conversations, but when you have barely 50% odds, you have both conversations.

And in those moments I knew he would be our last baby.

Regardless of the outcome, he would be our last.

In those moments I tried to remove myself emotionally from the life I was carrying. I actually, at one point, convinced myself I didn’t love this child. I mean how could I? I never met him, saw him, or held him. I didn’t know him, so if the coin landed on death, I would be fine.

Then a split second later, I would cry.

Whole body shaking sobs.

Because I knew better than that. My heart was already so in love with the life I was carrying. And I knew if the odds weren’t in our favor, it would be the worst pain I had ever felt in my life.

So as nurses and doctors worked to stop my labor and keep Baby C cooking, I cried and I prayed.

And I knew I would do whatever it took to never get pregnant again.

Because when it comes to your child, no one wants 50% odds.

When it comes to your child’s viability, 50% odds are terrible.

Fortunately, our story has a happy ending.

With both of our boys.

With Brother I, I got 28 more days of pregnancy and delivered at 33 weeks and 5 days to a 5lb 8oz baby.

We weathered two NICU stays, but we have a healthy, happy, and vibrant 4 year old.

And with Baby C I got 12 more weeks of pregnancy and delivered at 35 weeks and 4 days to a 6lb 10oz baby.

We are weathering reflux, but we have a healthy, happy, and vibrant 2 month old.

We.Are.Lucky.

Our story could have been different so easily.

So I’m content.

I’m at peace.

Perspective is a gift I will always be grateful for.

So every day I savor.

I savor the snuggles, baby wearing, newborn floppies, sweet baby milk breath, baths, nursing, smiles, coos, and even the ache I feel when I hear the distinct sound of my newborn cry.

I savor the soft newborn hair, the smooth baby skin against mine, the diaper changes, the spit up, and the sleepless nights.

I savor the vulnerable newborn period – the time I feel the most like a mother. Able to provide food, comfort, and love in the most raw and uninhibited way possible.

I savor the moments, good and bad, committing them to memory.

Beacuse our family is complete.

We are a family of 4.

A family of 4 with a happy ending.

 

Parenting Doubts and Weekly Menu

Happy August!

It’s going to be a busy month for us here. August is my birthday month, my sister is coming to visit, soccer starts, and school starts in two weeks – not that that effects me much but it’s hard to believe summer is almost over.

I have fallen off then menu-planning wagon, but since I’m home now and have a freezer full of food from my bedrest days I needed to get back into it. So here is our menu for this week:

Breakfast:

French toast/blueberry pancakes/scrambled eggs x2/cereal x3

We always have cereal on Brother I’s school days

Lunch:

PB&J/Tortilla pizzas/Turkey and cheese sandwich/Leftovers

I only plan lunches the days that Brother I isn’t in school since the other days he eats lunch at school.

Dinner:

BLT’s/Tacos/Lasagna Casserole/Chili & Cornbread/Brinner/Leftovers x2

Snacks:

Yogurt/strawberries/apples/string cheese/granola bar

And there ya have it, our menu this week.

 

Now moving onto some parenting thoughts. Ya’ll know how I want to be authentic and honest on here and I have waffled on sharing this because well, honestly no one likes to be judged on their parenting style. So why am I sharing this?

Because parenting is hard ya’ll.

It’s rewarding, it’s joyous, but it’s also hard and the mommy wars crap is just ridiculous. Us parents need to stick together!

Solidarity sisters!

So here’s what went down yesterday…

Brother I has been peeing and pooping in his pants. He’s potty trained and he knows what he is doing is wrong, but he won’t stop playing to use the toilet.

Well one day, in my frustrated-cleaning-poop-off-of-underwear state I told Mr. I that if he chooses to not stop playing to use the toilet, I was going to take all of his toys out of his room.

At the time it sounded like a good threat. It seemed logical to me that if he won’t stop playing, then I’ll remove the toys so that’s not an option for him any more.

And I thought it was a harsh enough threat that we would see some changes/progress from Mr. I.

Well, ya’ll the key word here is threat.

I never really thought I would have to follow through on this.

But I had to yesterday.

While playing, Brother I peed and pooped in his pants.

I was livid. Livid I tell ya. So mad that I didn’t.say.a.word.

I took a breath and told Brother I to get himself cleaned up.

Then I remembered my threat.

In that moment I realized if I was going to get my point across, I’d have to follow through.

Natural consequences I told myself.

Disclipline I told myself.

After my little pep talk, I calmly walked into Brother I’s room and without saying a word I started removing his toys.

Legos, cars, blocks, magna tiles, action figures, dump truck…all of it gone.

The only things left in his room after my 10 minute purge were his books.

Then I explained to Mr. I why I did what I did. Obviously he was upset, but he understood and asked if he could have his toys back after he uses the toilet.

While he was getting dressed into clean clothes I sat on the couch doubting the last 20 minutes.

I texted FirefighterDad and explained the whole situation.

And he texted back “good job”.

But I still felt like the worst parent EVER. I mean what kind of parent takes away their kid’s toys?!

But I stuck to it and I think the point got through to Brother I.

So since he had no toys to play with, we got creative. He ran a living room obstacle course created by FFD, we made blueberry pancakes, he threw a ball for one of our dogs, and he (reluctantly) read some books.

And today, we’re going to the store, making granola, banana bread and possibly more pancakes (Brother I requested them). Then we’ll have quiet time/naps and probably go to the pool.

And hopefully Brother I starts using the toilet so I can feel like an awesome parent, and give him all his toys back.

And stop washing poopy clothes.

 

 

Have you experienced any parenting doubts?

Any creative consequences you have used for your kiddos?

What’s your weekly menu?

I have no good title for this post…

A quick Baby C update: he’s healthy, he’s growing, and his breathing is a-okay. In fact, at his follow up appointment yesterday, is oxygen saturation was 100%!! Can’t get any better than that! So although Baby C’s lungs are in tip top shape, the poor guy is suffering from reflux. He’s on meds twice a day and I am seeing a slight improvement already. I’m hoping in another day or so, our happy easy going baby will be feeling tons better!

In other news, Brother I is signed up for soccer!! FirefighterDad is a big soccer fan and played all through is childhood and into college so I’m excited to pass along the sport, so to speak.

So in short, I’ve gone from corporate mom 👗👡💄👜 to soccer mom 👚👖👟🎒⚽️

And I’m really looking forward to it. Obviously my days are more flexible now which makes attending practices and games much less daunting. There will be later nights for Mr. I and quick dinners on soccer days, but I’m looking forward to seeing him outside running around having fun.

I’m also ready to start working out again. I’m pretty thrilled with where I’m at postpartum wise – I’m about 4-5 pounds away from my pre pregnancy weight and back into my regular shorts, however things aren’t quite as toned as they once were. With my breast still healing I’m thinking about starting out slowly with yoga. I’ll keep ya’ll posted on how this goes.

That’s all I have for now! I’ll talk to you in August!

And Then You Have a Break Through…

I had to get both boys and myself to Walgreens when they opened this morning at 10 because I needed a different antibiotic for this Mastitis I’m still fighting. #MastitisIsWorseThanLabor

While there, Brother I was a gem. I reminded him a couple times to make good choices and in the end the 40 minute trip was easy peasy.

At one point Brother I asked if he could have a 7Up which I wiling allowed since he was behaving and, bubble juice as we call it, is a very rare thing.

We paid, hopped into the car, and went home.

At lunch time I asked Brother I if I could have some of his bubble juice. He graciously said yes, however when I poured some into a cup for me, Brother I wasn’t so thrilled.

He said he wanted the bubble juice that I had poured back into the bottle. I explained we were sharing and he was quick to remind me the bubble juice was his.

So I asked what he was feeling and with his little 4 year old crossed arms and pouty face, he said most emphatically “I’m mad”.

I said “Ok you’re mad because I poured some bubble juice into my cup?”

Brother I said yes and I asked what he needed. And he explained he wanted the bubble juice back in the 20 oz bottle.

So I obliged because in the end it wasn’t a lesson on sharing it was a lesson on using his feeling words and Brother I knocked it out of the park.

He didn’t throw a fit and cry and scream. Instead he used his words, told me how he was feeling, and I was able to help make it better for him.

So sometimes having a 4 year old means you have break throughs and proud mommy moments.

And water with your lunch.

This is Four

We’ve all heard of the Terrible Twos and the Threenager, but what about 4?

Ya’ll No.One.Warned.Me.

Now, I don’t want to scare you but 4, well 4 is tough. Like really REALLY tough.

And here I am thinking I had escaped the ugliness of two and three because I LOVED those ages.

4 is basically the evil step sister of 2 and 3.

It’s frustrating.

It’s aggrivating

It’s voice-raising.

It’s repeating yourself until you just about explode.

It’s hard.

It’s exhausting.

It’s NOT my favorite.

And here’s the thing, I don’t have a bad kid. I don’t have a child who knowingly and willing and mischievously is bad. And I know every parent says this about their kid – but the truth is, I have a good kid. Neighbors have watched him and raved about his behavior. Family has watched him and said how well behaved he was. His teachers at school mention to us how he’s kind and generous and helpful.

So cue in crazy-eyed “what the hell am I doing wrong then” look because I have a child that is far from angelic when he’s at home. Nope, not an angel at all – something much worse. I have a 4 year old.

So what is a mother to do?

Well I have made a goal to be more present with my kids since I’m doing the whole staying at home gig. I want this to be a fun time. Sure there are rules and expectations for behavior, but I don’t want to waste away this time.

I’ve also realized that when I yell and raise my voice….

It.Does.Absolutely.No.Good.

It doesn’t change Brother I’s behavior. And I feel like a shmuck.

Actually, less than a shmuck. I’m the food that schmucks eat.

So we are both feeling, well shitty.

Something had to change and this is where I realized that sometimes a hug is better than a raised voice.

Cue epiphany lighting and music.

So, the other night bedtime wasn’t going well. Not well at all. And it was late. And I was tired. And I’m hormonal and basically Brother I and myself had a terrible horrible no good very bad day.

I yelled.

FirefighterDad yelled.

Brother I cried and continued his antics.

Baby C was cluster feeding.

And.I.Was.Wrought.With.Guilt.

My first born, crying in bed and not going to sleep. He needed me. I needed him.

I passed Baby C off to FFD (how FFD can get Baby C calmed and asleep in a split second is beyond me. I mean, I’m the one with the boobs!) and I went to my first born.

My Little Man. My Bugaboo. My precious sweet child, and I crawled into his bed and we talked.

My voice was calm and caring. And I reminded him that he mad a bad choice and decided to throw a fit, and that’s why he didn’t have any milk (he got water instead). I explained to him that using his words is a better choice.

I went on to explain that using his “feeling words” is a much better choice than having a fit and screaming and yelling.

So I asked him what he was feeling and he broke down into a warm 4 year old sobbing  noodle and between sobs he said he was feeling sad.

I asked him what he needed.

He needed snuggles. So I scooped up my big boy, put him in my lap and we snuggled.

When he settled down, I decided to get to the root of some of our challenges. I asked him how he felt about school.

He’s happy at school but sad.

Now I’m confused. So I ask more questions.

He’s happy at school but sad because I’m far away.

Aha!

This explains drop off – the crying, the pleading for one more hug, and the screaming “mommy” as I walk out the door.

He’s happy at school, but sad that I’m at home and far away from him.

Wow. How eye opening. Learning has taken place and this time it was me who learned something so valuable.

we continued our chat and within 15 minutes, I had a much better understanding of my 4 year old.

When you’re 4, you feel all the feels.

And sometimes, these feels run into other feels, and often times they are the opposite feels.

He’s happy AND sad.

He’s frustrated AND sad.

He’s mad AND happy.

For a 4 year old, it isn’t just one feeling. A situation is just never that black and white.

And now I know.

So there’s lots of work going on in our house to change our ways. Mine and Brother I’s.

There’s more understanding, more patience, and more talk of feeling words and what Brother I needs when he feels a certain way about something.

It’s a work in progress, but I have a feeling this will make 4 that much better.